Sick? Lame? Nope, just lazy

Sorry, I've been uber-busy and just plain lazy lately.
And not too much going on around here.
And apparently I was even too lazy to blog on my one year blogiversary!
Yeah, story of my life.
Although get this - check this picture out: No, it's not dandruff, it's snow!!!
Can you believe I have to clean off my car this morning?
And it snowed last April 4th, I have proof!
I mean come on - Easter is on Sunday - flowers are coming up and everything!
I wouldn't be at all surprised if we were hit by a hurricane this summer - one that comes up the Erie Canal or something.
So what have I been up to?
Drinking a bit:
Okay, granted, this is from St. Patrick's Day, but I drink so seldom anymore that I have to have photographic evidence.
(Good thing I never carried a digital camera back when I was 18, eh?)
I celebrated my favorite aunt's 84th birthday:
And I saw some bears doing a little dance: (Kudos to DN2 for her mad photography skills.)
DN1 went on a drinking... er...bus trip to Toronto and their bus driver claimed to be the son of Mr. Green Jeans!
Was he telling the truth?
Could be, rabbit.
I loved Mr. Green Jeans.
Here he is with the Captain:
And speaking of boy bands, I heard the new Justin Timberlake song.
I didn't realize it was him because I really thought it was this group: Du Jour! Remember them from Josie and the Pussycats? Best part of the movie.
So there you have it - I'm all over the map.
Not much knitting going on because either everything I touch is cursed or it's just me.
I think it's me.
Planning a short trip this weekend - hopefully I'll be able to find my camera battery charger before I go so you can look at all the scenic spots along PA Route 15.
Any guesses as to where we're headed?
I'll give you a hint:

Things you can tell just by hearing them #105

How I can tell we chose a brilliant, exceptional work-study student:

I'm in my office working and listening to iTunes (set on shuffle).
In walks the student with her timesheet for me to sign.
She asks, "Oh, are you listening to Neil Young?"
Me, silent with open mouth gaping at her in shock thinking, this child has heard of Neil Young?!?!
She says, "I have his greatest hits CD."
Me, still somewhat in shock, "You do? Now, do you have Live at Massey Hall?"
She says, "No, but I watched that with my boyfriend last weekend. It was great."
Instantly I walked out of my office and said to one of the ladies who I think is awesome (and not just because she openly admits to being a hippie, flower child in the 60s), "You know, there is another great reason why we hired M."
Hippie, Flower Child says, "Why?"
Me, "Because she likes Neil Young!"
Both of us crow over our exceptional, young, impressional, yet oh so brilliant work-study student.
I mean I thought only my kids know about Neil Young.
The man is still out there -- and chicks dig him!!

Cats and Yarn and Birthday Gifts

My cats are out of control.
Totally out of control.
They are yarn addicts.
I came home yesterday to find that the yarn from my current project (in which I've dropped a stitch and am completely mystified as to how to fix it because I'm just not good at that anyway) was spread out from my room, through DN2's room, out into the hallway and back into my room again.
They are nuts.
Here's an example of something else they like to do (this is an older project):

(BTW, the plastic kitty is a good kitty, she didn't do this.)
On Sunday evening we all had to go into the hallway to watch DN2s circus.
She had taken some yarn (with permission, not like the cats) and tied some from the bannister and then some other from the bannister to the door handle so her circus animals could either dangle and swing back and forth or ride down the little zipline.
I set my knitting down on a table in the corner for approximately 15 minutes.
I came back and the yarn had been chewed through and the end was still wet!
Now that I've found their gateway drug, I'm going to have to keep my yarn under lock and key.
Speaking of gateway drugs, this is mine:
I love this stuff.
I can't get enough of it.
I was sniffing on it when I was driving down the road this morning and DN2 said, "You're only supposed to use that if you have a stuffy nose."
She's 8, remember, and I'm stupid.
I sniffed in her general direction, just to prove that I'm not all that stupid.
Then I inhaled the Vicks again.
She said, "Stop or people will think you're sniffing drugs."
Oh how jaded are our youth.
Enough about me and my addictions (and just don't put that bottle of St. Joseph's Children's Aspirin too close to me either).
My sister-in-law's birthday was at the beginning of the month and she received her package from us, albeit a bit late, but it got there.
Now before you go thinking I've gone Vera Bradley crazy, I haven't.
But I do think it makes for a nice gift.
And my SIL has done a lot for the kids, she and her husband are always very generous, so we wanted to get her something nice.
DH, DN1 and I all went shopping (in town! supporting our small business owners, not the evil conglomerates that run "Devil Stores"!).
Of course we lose points for shopping for the gift on the day before her birthday.
And then of course we mailed it a week later.
To Japan.
So there's another week.
But this is what we sent:
It's the new peacock pattern, and we included an eyeglass case (or sunglass case, whatever), and a small wallet.
She really likes it and said she can't wait for spring.
Of course spring in Tokyo brings rain.
Did you know that Tokyo and Paris are the two rainiest cities?
Well me either, I heard it and am not sure if it's an urban legend or not.
All I know is that when we were in Tokyo when the kids were teeny tiny (and there were only two of them) we have a lot of pictures of us wearing raincoats.
That's all for now -- time to get busy doing the stuff that earns me money.

The Reviled One

People in my class hate me.
Why?
Because I've ruined the story of Peter Pan for them.
Oh come on, it really is a very highly sexualized, misogynistic story!
I'm sorry if I've ruined your childhood delusions about the beauty and innocence of the relationship between Peter and Wendy.
And to me the Wendy house really is reminiscent of a menstrual hut (the Professor mentioned The Red Tent, Kat and I thought of you).
Man, you should have heard some of the comments.
Of course I didn't bring the subject up, another grad student did (he's a 9th grade teacher), but you know I chimed in.
Of course.
"Look at me! I've got an opinion!!"
Yes that's how I roll.
And then at break this other grad student (who's an 8th grade teacher) came up to me and said, "Don't worry, I'm going to talk about how Peter Pan is always portrayed by a woman even though he's a boy."
Why the sudden empathy?
They were talking about me in the back of the room.
And then when I commented on something else the girl sitting next to me said, "You!...Geez."
Yes, just like that.
What can you do, eh?
The professor made me look at Where the Wild Things Are in a different light when she discussed looking at it from the viewpoint of Max being the white imperialist colonizing Africa (explains the white wolf suit, right?) and you don't hear me crying about that do you?
This is what "close reading" is all about.
No hard feelings, but even so I felt I needed an escort when I left the classroom.

Happy Birthday, Kat

Happy Birthday, Kat.

Stormy Saturday

I'm trapped in my house.
It's snowing.
Yesterday we were worried about flooding from all the melting snow and today we can't even get out of our driveway.
Here's a picture I took of DN2 on Thursday wearing her new hat (Patons Shetland Chunky, pattern from this book):Witness the lack of snow on the ground.
I'd take a picture today but my camera battery died and truthfully I think I've posted enough photos of snow for everyone to kind of figure out what the white sh.., I mean stuff looks like.
Now today is St. Patrick's Day.
I am a wee bit Irish, but more Scottish and English in this lifetime (the previous ones I'm not quite sure but I do have some ideas) and even so I didn't even really consider what day it was when I began to make my breakfast.
I've had eggs everyday this weekend (no Atkins, just because), so this morning I didn't feel like it and everyone else wanted omelets and I made those but made this for myself:
(Please note I'm eating Irish Oatmeal in a Polish pottery bowl, yeah, I'm confused.)
DH said, "Oh are you having Irish Oatmeal because it's St. Patrick's Day?"
Really, I didn't even think about it, it's the only oatmeal I have in my house right now and it has more to do with the need for fiber.
I'll spare you the details.
Anyway my luck was certainly with me yesterday because I won $20 on a scratch-off lottery ticket
Sure I spent $5 buying the ticket, but hey, I'll take whatever I can get, because you all should know by now that I'm just not proud.
Of course now I can't go cash it in because what did I say in the beginning?
I'm trapped in my house.
So maybe I'll do just what Major Knitter suggests we all do on a day like today, sit in bed and read.
There's a St. Patrick's Day parade in the city that starts at 12:30, but I'm not heading out there.
I don't want to chance it because I think my luck has been exhausted for this weekend with that lottery ticket.
Perhaps I'll retire to my bed to read and drink some tea while my Black Bean soup cooks downstairs.
Black Bean soup.
Yum.
You can bet that makes me very popular in my house, right?
So I'll go read Peter Pan and Wendy for class and this book that just came in the post today:
Ah, another glorious Saturday spent in my pajamas.
Cheers!

Tonight I Visited the 4th Circle of Hell

The new Super Wal-Mart opened today,
It is the devil's store, I say.
Greed is available at a low price
Their marketing strategy = patrons not so nice.
What do you think Dante would say?
He'd call for his guide Virgil to lead him away
He knows they're all hoarders and wasters and gluttons
Even though they wear their smiley face buttons.

Life's a gas

Numerology is defined as the study of numbers, as the figures designating the year of one's birth, to determine their supposed influence on one's life, future, etc.
Do you see the bolded number here?
It does have an influence on my life, but it's no one's birth year.
Okay, well it could be, but they'd be dead by now.
Of course the dollar sign is a dead giveaway.
It's not my credit card balance, I could only wish.
I'll tell you -- but quick, grab yourself a paper bag in case you start to hyperventilate.
(I was gasping for breath when I opened it myself.)
This is my gas bill for usage in February.
Now, position that bag over your mouth and breathe in slowly and out slowly.

Seen in a parking lot

Okay, the bumper sticker on the left reads, "My son is a US Marine."
The one on the right reads, "My boyfriend is a US Marine."
Well, which is he? Your son, or your boyfriend?
Please don't let him be both.

You don't get old all at once

You really get old a little bit at a time.
And sometimes it is about what foods you just can't eat anymore.
Like for me, it's these bad boys:
Well, at least not at 8:00 at night.
I woke up at 1:30 with my stomach rumbling and just feeling plain queasy.
Guess Fritos will go the way of Bugles - off limits.
Yesterday I attended a lecture on campus where the topic was Diversity.
It was a great lecture! The speaker was dynamic, bubbly, and enthusiastic.
But guess how she addressed everyone in the lecture.
Go ahead, I'll give you ten seconds to think about it.
Done?
"Guys"
We were all guys.
Obviously we weren't, but that is how everyone was addressed.
So while I was awake for 2 hours last night with the Fritos making me toss and turn, I mentally wrote part of my response to this lecture (if we attended and then write something for class, we can get extra credit - and I'll be an extra credit whore for sure).
You can bet I will address this.
In a nice way.
Of course.
Because regardless of what Jean says, I'm the nice one.
^_^

Off to the post office

Here's my package for my Favorite Color Swap 2 partner.
Today is only the last day to mail your package, and when do I send mine?
On the last day.
It is hard to find the "perfect" package for someone.
So I shopped and tried to create a color theme because she said that she likes jewel tones, like green, red and purple. I went with purple.
Not everything in this package is yarn, because I really only included two skeins of Patons wool, but I did include some pretty purple things, and some are knitting related, so I hope she really likes what I've chosen.
Now, I've just got to get to the post office today!

Forget the March hare, the lion is still here

It is cold today.
The announcer on the radio station I listen to out of Toronto (96.3) told the listening audience about how dangerously cold it is up there today and he said, "Teens, wear more than a hoodie today."
Too funny.
Yes, it is cold, so cold all you want to do is stay in bed, and some of my co-workers get to do that because the roads are closed in their county so they can't get to work!
What a deal.
Now if only my former co-workers (Jean and Sheri) would contact me and let me know what their cryptic, yet damning, email meant that they sent on Friday.
What's up ladies?

Today I was 15 again

But I wasn't wearing braces this time around.
Thank goodness.
And I have to tell you, it was fun!
I took someone back in time with me too, a friend from high school.
Now you're probably wondering how and why we traveled back in time, and we did it for him:
And the encounter we had was via a DVD -- my friend Cindy and I got together to watch this movie:
Sooner or Later, with Sexy Rex Smith.
(Lucky Cindy even got to see him in concert in 1978.)
Does anyone remember watching this on tv in 1978?
I do, and I also remember braiding my wet hair at night and using the elastics from the orthodontist to hold the braids in place, all so I could have poufy hair in the morning.
This is way back in the dark ages of hair styling, before crimping irons.
And I also remember wishing I could find some 17 year old guy who looked like Rex Smith who didn't mind that I was 13.
Yeah, well that didn't happen.
Only in my fertile imagination.
Cindy and I had a good time together, just watching the movie and thinking about a time when we had our entire lives in front of us and they were wide open with possibilities.
All we (I) had to do was get out of this small, rinky-dink town.
Cindy never left and here I am back again.
Spending Friday night sleeping in the gym of my old high school, and Sunday watching a movie from when I was a freshman/sophmore in high school.
Man, life is cyclical, isn't it?
The biggest difference?
Those Calvin Klein jeans I keep that I will never fit into again.
Well, a girl can always keep on dreaming, and I guess I will.

....and now I'm passing it on to you

I survived the Brownie lock in.
I misrepresented the event when I said it was "Girl Scouts."
Yes, they are technically Girl Scouts, but go a few grades younger and think of 1st, 2nd and 3rd graders.
Anyway, it went off without a hitch, even though my hackles were up at the beginning.
The supposed organizer of the event came into the gym just before opening ceremonies and shouted out to everyone, "How are you guys doing tonight?!?"
Grrr...
She then said, "Are you guys ready to have some fun?!?"
Arrgh...
A gym filled with 75 Brownie Girl Scouts and not one "guy" in sight, except for the one dad sitting over in the corner.
Hello!!!
Even my daughter looked at me and said, "We're not guys."
Well, she's been trained so I expect that kind of awareness and reaction from her.
I understand that saying "guys" to people is truly an American colloquialism, but we really need to pay attention to how we use it.
To my leader's credit, when she began speaking to the group at large, she referred to them as either "ladies" or "girls" which is what they are.
I mentioned how irritating I find this to our other leader and she nodded in agreement and said she had never thought about it before.
I looked at her and said, "Now you will, forever and always. I have passed this on to you."
She looked at me and replied, "Thanks."
She's welcome.

TGIF

And can you believe this post is number 189?
Actually at the end of the month I will have been blogging for a year.
Kind of hard to believe how quickly time passes.
Or as Patty Griffin would say in my new favorite song "Trapeze" from her new CD "Children Running Through":

Some people don't care if they live or they die
Some people want to know what it feels like to fly
Gather their courage and they give it a try
Fall under the wheels of a time goin' by

Anyway, thank goodness this week passed quickly, because I can't wait for the weekend.
Actually I can't wait for Saturday morning at about 0700, because Friday evening I have to spend at a lock-in at the high school with the Girl Scouts.
Won't that be fun, eh?
Once the lights go out, maybe it will be a good thing I finally got around to purchasing these things:
I haven't used them yet, but in a dark gym with 150 or so young girls, perhaps now is the time.
So to all, have a nice weekend, or as my French friend Danielle would say, "Passez un bon temps!"
And belated birthday wishes go out to my good friend in North Carolina!

Please Mr. Postman

Remember that song?
I'm of the age when it's The Carpenters version I think of, but who did it originally?
Anyone?
Well I know that it was The Marvelettes, but I only know that because I looked it up.
So the postman, or the UPS man, or the international mail delivery person delivered a package for me and look where it came from:I knew it was going to be good, because it felt nice and squishy and my first thought was...YARN!!
Look what was inside:
I just don't think my camera took good enough pictures so that you too can appreciate the hand-painted beauty of this yarn:
It is luscious, like a cold Concord grape in the summertime.
Okay, I don't want to eat the yarn, but I do like to rub it up against my cheek, and yes, I will knit with it.
Let me tell you why this package is so great.
Well first of all, it came from my Favorite Color Swap partner Chrissie.
And she's a smart, smart girl, because she is a very good enabler.
She not only sent me the yarn to knit either Birch or Kiri, but she sent me the needles too.
And she sent along a pattern to use with my fourth skein of yarn in order to make lovely lace bookmarks (now how does she know I like to read, I ask you) and she sent along the needles for that project too!
See, she knows I want to knit lace but am afraid.
So she has enabled me.
What a great swap partner.
A big, huge thank you to Chrissie!
Now I just need to get my act together and finish purchasing my goodies for my swap partner.
I hope she likes it -- you know that's what is hard about swaps, you worry that you could be buying more or different things, and you hope that they like what they send you.
Not everyone is simple like me, I'm just happy to get anything.
You know how that is.
And before I came to work this morning I did make sure that my lovely new yarn was put away from these little innocents:
Don't let them fool you.
They're Yarn Cats.

There was a pod next to my bed this morning

We're in the middle of changing our ISP, so unfortunately my capability to blog is hindered.
The situation will be rectified tonight, so I will be back with more snarky comments, mediocre knitting, pictures of sexy men, and news about my chocolate binges.
Tschuss!

Some things are too funny not to share

I'm sorry, but this is just too funny to pass up, so I must share!
J. Harvey from A Socialite's Life is just too hilarious!
And clever!
In a post entitled "Howard K. Stern is sitting in the passenger side of his best friends ride trying to holla at me" he writes:

God, what a boll weevil this man is. Howard K. Stern admitted on the stand yesterday that Anna Nicole paid for everything.

"Under grilling from lawyers and Judge Seidlin, Stern admitted that Smith paid the $950 rent on his apartment, and that she gave him cash to buy personal items such as shoes."

But wasn't he her "lawyer"? Couldn't he have billed for that? Shoes? You let your woman buy you shoes? I mean, I've been a kept man before, but at least I got a cover job down at the Dairy Queen so no one could say anything. And I pretended that I was able to afford my Coach flip-flops because I was slaving away over the crunch coat and making bitches the perfect Blizzard. Now, you're up on the stand admitting to everyone that some high bitch kept you as a flunkie and made you her man-servant and bought you a pair of Payless once in awhile to give you the impression you were earning your keep. Good lord, you define "sniveling".

Is that not the funniest thing you've ever read?
A cover job down at the Dairy Queen...I'm still laughing...

Things are looking up

For one thing, it's Thursday.
Tomorrow is Friday! Yea!
DN1 came out of the hospital yesterday afternoon, and in response to queries about why she was admitted, unfortunately she does not want to be known as a poster child for a piercing gone bad.
But I think she may become one anyway.
So let it be said that if you get things pierced (like ear cartilage), infections can happen.
Thanks for all your concern, now she's back to her manic life and catching up on schoolwork.
And as DH brought her home yesterday afternoon, we spent the first part of the evening eating crappy Chinese food (and not from the place that tried to blow up the block with gasoline) but another restaurant.
As an aside I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as "good" Chinese food in this area.
While we were eating our Chinese we watched this that came in the mail yesterday from Amazon:
I enjoyed it, and at this point when I watch a Christopher Guest film it's like watching a group of good friends entertain you, and you look at who they were in other movies and who they are playing in the new one. Somehow that doesn't sound as eloquent as I'd like it to, but I think you know what I mean. It's all good.
After it was done I went upstairs to watch some tv and knit but got distracted by watching this:
It was pretty damn motivating, and I loved watching the footage from Quantico and thinking about running on those trails.
I miss them.
Oh, and Rick, I thought about you as I saw the DIs pushing the Candidates through the Quigley - they should have filmed you doing that, because I know you are a true ball buster.

Sometimes it takes more than chocolate

My cold is still lingering but winding down, DN2 is just about over her cold and flu and is finally back to sleeping almost normally, but DN1 still sits in a hospital bed.
Hopefully she'll be out today, but if a doctor comes in at 0630 and tells you the swelling is not going down the way they expected and they'll have to figure another course of action, you can bet your sweet bippy she'll be in that damn bed for another day.
None of us are loving it.
Every class and lab she misses puts her that much farther behind and I have a presentation to prepare for class on Monday which I haven't even started yet.
Anyway, I did buy this last night at the drug store on our way back home from the hospital:
Yes, sometimes it does take more than chocolate, but I'll start with this and let you know if I need something stronger.

P.S. Does anyone else notice that my photography skills totally suck when taking a picture of what's inside my handbag, but when it comes to photographing a bag of chocolate crunchiness the picture is completely clear and in focus? Amazing.

I'm channeling Monty Hall

Some people think I carry too much stuff around.
My kids do.
And my DH does too.
But really, I don't think I carry all that much around in my handbag.
Take a look at this.
Does it look full?
Yes, it is.
Does it look heavy?
Well, yes it is.
But move the knitting and it's not so bad.
Also, if you need something, by golly I've got it.
Last night we were visiting DN1 who is currently in the hospital (long story, can't violate HIPAA regulations, but let's hope she's out soon).
(Which hospital? The one that rhymes with Wrong, right Jean and Sheri?)
Anyway, you know how food is in a hospital, not exactly haute cuisine.
So before we left I knew she'd be sitting there by herself feeling like crap so I asked her if she wanted something, like a chocolate bar.
She said sure, so I began to dig.
And my family sat there amazed at everything that came out of my bag.
This is some of what is in the main compartment:
And these are some of the things in the small pocket on the inside:

(Kat, you'll appreciate the MCRA Life Member pin - who knows how that got in there, or how long it's been in there.)
And sorry for the blurry photos, apparently the DTs are kicking in.
And for those who asked (Major Knitter and Angelika), believe it or not the yarn I'm using for Rachael's Good Ole' Cabled Scarf is charcoal - I think the light hit it funny and it looked blue. But here it is in all its blurry glory:

Please note the Lantern Moon needles, received as a gift from the lovely Major Knitter 2 years ago.
So anyway, back to my bag.
Why do I carry so much stuff?
I guess I watched too many episodes of Let's Make a Deal when I was younger.
I'll be ready if anyone ever says, "I'll give $500 to anyone who has a spoon in their handbag."
Will you?

This algorithm was obviously not developed by Charlie from "Numb3rs"

I was checking out the Little Professor's blog and she noted that this Gender Genie continued to think that, based upon her writing, she was a he.
So I decided to check it out myself.
And look at what it said:

Words: 54

(NOTE: The genie works best on texts of more than 500 words.) -- (My note -- yeah, yeah, whatever)

Female Score: 108
Male Score: 135

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this passage is: male!

Just for clarification, I used my previous post wherein I called myself a girl and discussed a threesome with two men!!
And knitting!
Hello!!!
Your algorithm sucks.
Where's Charlie?

What provides comfort

Can you tell me what these three items have in common?

They are all items to provide me comfort since I am beginning to get a cold.
What better way to spend a Sunday but in bed with your knitting and Ioann Gruffudd and Robert Lindsay.
Well, it's not quite a threesome since they're on tv, but a girl can always hope, right?

Look what I have

See what I have here.
A jar of recalled peanut butter.
Guess I'll turn it in and get some money back for it.
But I really wanted the peanut butter.
Damn that Salmonella.

A Classic

Last night was cold.
What do you do on a night when you shouldn't be out driving?
Go to the video store.
Of course.
So I rented a classic.
Something I haven't seen in Years!
But I wanted to see it again, just because.
And I told SN2 that it wasn't a great movie, and it's really only good until about halfway through.
Not true.
And he called me on that too.
He said, "Mom, why did you say this was only good until halfway through?"
I responded, "Because it's been a long time since I've seen it. Excuse my memory lapse."
My sense of humor has apparently changed - and I'm glad to see that he enjoys some of the crazy, stupid, warped things that I do.
What was the classic?
Take off, hoser, if you don't know this one, eh.

Snow Day!

Snow, glorious snow.
And I'm off to work.
But I thought you might like to see what I had to pull my car out into this morning (and what the backyard looks like).
These photos were taken at 7:45 - it's going to be much worse.
And to all my friends who live in the South and insist on telling me about their temperatures - stop it.
I get the point. ^_^
But -- tell your kids that mine don't have school today.
They may be asking you to move!
Enjoy and be safe.

It's coming tonight

Snow.
Big snow.
For us, at least.
In the Oswego area they've reached over 12 feet.
Amazing.
We're just expected to get between 5 to 8 inches tonight and tomorrow between 8 and 12.
A mere pittance, right?
I'm looking forward to it.

Looking out and looking in

What you see when you look out the windows of my house:


What you would have seen on Sunday if you had been looking in:








Some of my cousins came to tea.
Along with my mother and one of my aunts.
With our family when you tell them what time it will end, it will always be exceeded by at least an hour.
I belong to a family of talkers.
And there were a lot of them present yesterday.
Which is great, because I really enjoy their company.
We'll definitely be doing this again.

It doesn't take much thought

When you wake up to this:


You have to buy this:

Why I Read the Police Blotter

Here's a police report from an incident that occurred in town on January 26:

Police and Fire Department personnel responded to a report of strange odors in two Main Street businesses at about 4 p.m. Emergency responders discovered that the occupants of the business at XX Main Street had been attempting to fill a kerosene powered heater with gasoline, and further, a natural gas leak existed in the same building. Had the callers not notified emergency services, and quick-thinking responders not identified the problem, a serious explosion may have resulted. Police arrested Johnny X., owner of the Kitchen Express, on charges of Reckless Endangerment, 2nd Degree, and Reckless Endangerment of Property, both Misdemeanors. Johnny X. was issued an appearance ticket returnable to the Town Court, and the building was red-tagged by Code Enforcement.

Are you just as horrified as I am?
Okay, well since you don't know where I live, let me set the scenario: this particular restaurant is in the middle of a block containing approximately 10 businesses with apartments and a dance studio above. Typical old town-style buildings.
This guy is an idiot!
And I went into the pizza place on Monday that is two doors down from this restaurant and he said they could smell the gasoline in there!
I still can't get over these actions by a future Darwin Award nominee, so I figured I would share.

Northern Virginia Barbie Dolls

This is too funny.
And it's a joke, folks.
If you don't like it, stop reading now.

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls
for Northern Virginia areas.

Loudoun County Barbie
This princess Barbie is sold only at the Dulles Town Center or Tysons
Corner II. She comes with an assortment of Louis Vuitton Handbags, a
brand new Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a way
overpriced house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.
Workaholic Ken in High Tech/Attorney/CPA/M.D. attire sold only in
conjunction with the augmented Barbie version.

Fairfax County Barbie
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation. She's currently taking Spanish lessons to get along with her
neighbors. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Manassas Park Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes in overalls or Wal-Mart sweat suit
with racing strip and "Too Cute" embroidered on front. Accessories
include a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted
windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and
must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills)...unless
you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

McLean Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Woodbridge Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper
sticker absolutely free.

Ashburn Barbie
This Botox Barbie comes dressed to impress in leopard print pants and
bleached blonde hair. She comes ready to party with a cosmopolitan in
her right hand and a bottle of Valium in her left. Overpriced condo sold
separately.

Dumfries Trailer Home Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
beer-gutted Ken out of Warrior Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes
low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Dupont Circle Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need
a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Cloverdale Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Route 1 Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy
were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of
the infant.

Thanks to Tracy for this.

What The Clash know

"The ice age is coming, the sun's zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growing thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
Cause London is burning and I, I live by the river"

Okay, actually I live by a canal and a lake, but yes, the ice age is here.
I would have posted over the weekend, but it's too damn cold to do much of anything.
Winter brings out the best in all of us - at least the part that is prone to hibernation.
And don't ask me about the Super Bowl - I didn't watch it.
Sorry.
I watched a movie and knit on my hat instead.
And charged my camera battery.
Soon there will be pictures to accompany my inane chatter.
Yippee!
Bundle up, kiddles!

Oh to be in Punxsutawney

It's Groundhog Day.
A day for monumental things to happen.
First and foremost, will the shadow be seen or not?
I know this is a day we always use to predict the remaining length of winter, but it has always seemed to me that we're going to have another 6 weeks of it (at least) regardless of what Phil and his progeny see.
So you can be entertained and watch the irascible Bill Murray relive his life over and over.
Did you ever think about how long a period of time he was there repeating the day? Long enough to learn how to play piano and do many other things to a high level of proficiency. My prediction: it had to be about 3 years.
When I went to SNCO Academy in '93, this movie came out and it prompted many discussions about which day you could live over and over, if you had a choice.
I think it's hard to chose, and sometimes not even necessary.
As Freak says, "You don't need a time machine if you know how to remember."