Our Friday forecast calls for...

...snow.

Speaking of supermarkets

Courtesy of Tops Supermarket, two members of my family will be sitting in section 137 of Ralph Wilson Stadium watching the Bills play the Patriots.

Now if only Tops could have given away tickets to the World Cup....

No supermarket pumpkins for us, thanks

We took a visit to a pumpkin patch in Waterport and had a great time!

Well, the one permanently connected to Jorge, his ipod, didn't want to be there, but you know, sometimes it's necessary to force kids to have fun.

While there we also picked apples. And then we brought home a man. Yee haw.

He started out as Bob, then Brownie, then Barry, and by the time he got home, he was Walter.
He's our front porch guardian, but not too accessible from the street, because you never know what the college students will grab on any given weekend. Ditto for the pumpkins.

Things to remember

When you overhear a fellow classmate claim to find a book extremely boring, do not pay attention to them and dread reading the book, because they just might be wrong.

Happy Birthday, Major Knitter

Today is the birthday of a very dear friend.



Most people (like me) want something for themselves on their birthday; after all, it is their special day. However, my dear aforementioned friend is not like everyone else -- she is a very giving and loving person, not selfish, greedy and manipulative (like me).

Please help her to celebrate her very special day in her unique way, which she wants to do by sharing her wealth of knitting knowledge with others. Head over to her blog and check out her latest contest. And when you're there you'll see that because of her giving nature she will end up rewarding a few lucky people!

So sing it with me:

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday Major Knitter,
Happy birthday to you.

This is scary

My youngest son has friends who are licensed to drive.

Who needs a three dog night...

...especially when you have two cats by the fire.

Blah and boring

Not much going on here, or rather, nothing exciting to blog about. Working too hard at work, getting ready to take a day off on Monday, and incubating my ideas for my prospectus due on Monday. No knitting going on around here, only reading and watching a bit of television ("Scrubs" and "Big Valley"). Although I will tell you a funny story. Funny to me at least.

When my kids were babies and their hair was growing in it would stand straight up on the top of their head. It was always fun to run your hand over the top of their hair and watch it pop straight back up, plus it was always so soft and silky. There is a doctor I know whose hair looks just like that of a baby's (he is balding). It's very difficult for me to resist running my fingers over the top of his hair just to watch it pop straight back up. But I am tempted daily.

Exposing the wound

Last night in class, before my triumphal departure from the building face first down a set of concrete steps (can you say "sprained thumb") we had an in-depth discussion on Jane Eyre. It has been a long time since I sat in a classroom, and even longer since I sat around discussing a book in such a manner. I've never joined a book group mostly because I'm lazy and don't want to be obligated to not only reading a book that is not of my choosing but also because, well, I'm lazy.

For almost the entire class period last night, which is 3 hours long, we discussed Jane Eyre. I might have noted before (and I'm too lazy to go look it up) that this is the first time I have read this novel. I feel all gushy and happy for Jane and find her to be such a likeable heroine; however, after talking about motives and characterization and dialogue amongst other things for so long last night, I realized my failing.

You see, I approached Jane Eyre as a recreational reader and wanted nothing more than to be entertained. While I thought I was reading deeply, it is obvious that I really wasn't and the class discussion helped me to see that. And what I find so worrisome is that I am afraid that what I am is a "recreational reader" when what I desire to be is a scholar. As a reader who is reading for pleasure, I'm satisfied with superficial explanations, whereas a scholar scrapes off the scab and exposes the wound. The problem is that once the wound is exposed the scar will always remain and the book will never have that same meaning. There will always be the possibility that one will look at everything with a jaundiced eye, searching for ulterior motives and attempting to discern the meaning behind disingenuous conversation. On the other hand there exists the possibility that with a closer reading the book will have an even deeper meaning for the reader in the future.

It's a scary prospect, this close reading of a book. I wonder if I can handle it. Five page (max.) prospectus due on Monday concerning the book we're going to write about for our casebook. Will it be Mrs. Dalloway or The Stranger? No one can say for certain, especially me, and I have to do the work!

Before we get started

The names for our tea knit swap were passed out and I got an email from my partner who is anonymous still! So before I begin to answer the questions posed of me I will tell you that I ate a refreshing lunch consisting of a grilled cheese sandwich (swiss, of course) and tomato soup, perfect for a rainy day, and now I'm ready to get started.

No, I am not allergic to anything, but I really do not like lapsang souchong tea. I know, I know, I said I was game to try anything, but I should have qualified that statement and said anything but that kind. I'm really not a big fan of mint either, even though my daughter is and she insists on buying me mint tea when she is the one who really likes it. I also do not like ribbon yarn. So with that settled, here we go!

Bagged or Loose? Either - I love either. I actually have several (a lot) of teapots that I love to use and I also have an electric drip teapot that my friend Gayle gave to me for Christmas which uses both loose tea and bags. However, in the morning when I don't have time to waste and I am running late (every day), I like a quick cup of Earl Grey or Irish Breakfast from a bag.

What do you like to knit? Unfortunately I'm an enthusiastic knitter whose skill level is not commensurate with the amount of knitting books I own. However, I do like to knit mittens and I'm trying my hand at a pair of socks, but I'm not quite sure how that is going (it's that tricky turning of the heel). I do afghans, handbags, scarves, hats and I know I'll be working on some slippers for this winter.

What do you do for fun that has NOTHING to do with tea or knitting? I guess reading would be out, eh, because that is part of the holy trinity, right? I do a lot of reading actually. I do like to watch soccer, I like to go to the movies, or I like to walk along the Canal. Mostly I like to spend time with my family. Oh, and I listen to music quite a bit.

Are you excited that it's Autumn? I LOVE AUTUMN!!!

How do you feel about Halloween? I start buying candy in September and I had a baby on Oct 28 who I call my little pumpkin. Other than that, I don't think about it much. ^_^

During the last month what was the most interesting and pleasing thing you smelled? Funny you ask because in the grocery store today they had a bouquet of flowers that smelled like cinnamon. I think the smell of autumn in the air is the best ever - pumpkins and spices and apples and cinnamon and leaves - everything you can find at a Yankee candle store!

What do you like to do on Saturdays? Wake up early and spend time by myself, make a big breakfast for everyone, if possible, and then spend the day reading, knitting, watching movies and catching a quick nap. Ahh...the perfect Saturday. And bring on the rain/snow!

Do you work? Only out of necessity.

What hours will you generally be online? Now that's a hard one to answer. It varies throughout the day.

How often do you update your blog? Not as often as I should.

If I poke you to update more would it annoy you? No, and if you can get me out there running again I'd be extremely pleased.

What colors do you find pleasing? Blue, especially the darker shades of blue, pinks, purples and red (have you seen my shoes by the way?).

If you had a perfect day where everything was just as you like it what would it be like? A Saturday with a visit from Ed McMahon carrying a giant check followed by a phone call from Ioan Gruffudd telling me he loves me.

What is your favorite yarn brand? I love Colinette and Rowan, but do find their cost prohibitive at times. I like Patons wool, and my friend Jennifer sent me some Blue Sky alpaca for my birthday last year that practically cast itself on my needle. I love Brown Sheep and Lamb's Pride as well. I'm a devoted fan of Elann, and I'm not adverse to buying Lion Brand either. Not a very good answer, but what can I say, I'm a cheap yarn whore with expensive tastes.

What is the thing you like to knit most? Lately, mittens. And even though I know I need to diversify and stop with the scarves, there are so many out there that I like!

If you were a yummy treat what would you be and what would you say? I'd be milk chocolate a treat that seems to inspire a suggestive phrase like, "Mmmm...put me in your mouth and I'll melt with you." Oh yeah.

What floats your boat? Intelligent conversation.

If your boat was sinking what would you grab to take off with you when you jumped off? I'd cast off from the sinking ship in a lifeboat thus not loosing anything. I'm a pack rat, and I always travel as if I'm going on a 3 hour cruise with Gilligan.

Do you have a sense of humor? I've been told that I think everything is a joke. Was that a compliment or criticism? I could never tell, I was laughing too hard.

Got any fun plans coming up? Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas! The best time of the year before the winter hibernation period sets in.

Are there too many questions here? Of course not!

Also is there anything you wish to ask me. How did you come up with so many cool questions?

Can't wait to hear back from you. I'm very excited about this swap and getting to know you. Ditto!

It's a thin line between love and hate

Ten Things I Hate:

1 - Soccer played on a field marked for football.
2 - People who pull in front of you and who then go slow.
3 - Gnawed fingernails.
4 - Obnoxious obscenities in public.
5 - Overloud music coming from another car.
6 - Too many demands upon my time.
7 - Not being able to live in London.
8 - Overdue library books.
9 - The price of gas.
10 - Popcorn kernels stuck in my teeth.

Ten Things I Love:

1 - Good pens.
2 - The color blue.
3 - New books.
4 - To laugh.
5 - Cats.
6 - The kaleidoscope of colors in a yarn shop.
7 - Intelligent people with common sense.
8 - Fields of sunflowers.
9 - Rainy days.
10 - Baroque music.

The rain, the cats, and a good book

I wish that I could stay at home today and read my book. It is just that kind of day already. What I'm reading, Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, I've read before, but it is so lovely to come back to it and find the pages so filled with colour and know that it has just been sitting there on the bookshelf in DN1's room waiting for me to rediscover it. And that is the funny thing about books. Some books you only need to read once in your lifetime and they stay with you forever. Certain points in the plot may become lost to you, but you remember forever the feeling you're left with, and that is that you've been given a treasure. This is how it is for me as I am reading Mrs. Dalloway.

So truth be told, I would rather stay at home today and read my book, but I can't. And since one is not allowed to make wishes with qualifications I must put my book down. This is difficult, yet rather easy, because with Virginia Woolf you can't just dip your toe in and grab five minutes of reading. No, you need to become totally submerged and let the waves of her writing take control of you and allow yourself to float along and relish her prose.

I know Benno and Simone would be happy if I stayed home too, since they are obviously ready to curl up and cuddle with someone who would rather be reading. I tried to explain to DH the other day about being caught up in a good book and wanting so badly to do nothing but read and he said that he has never experienced that. I can recall sitting in school, and this is going way back, and having to sit in class for 50 minutes with that book sitting in front of me on my desk and being so aggravated that I just couldn't leave and indulge myself in something I would much rather be doing. I just finished Jane Eyre, which, quelle horreur, I have never read before! But it was lovely, and something I wish that I had discovered when I was fourteen years old. Now as I looked to find a book to write about for my class, I had considered Jane Austen but as I have stated before I'm not a huge Austen fan. Instead on my way in to work, and fueled by the Indigo Girls who share as much of a passion for Virginia Woolf's work as I do, I decided, why do a book I don't like, I need to write about Clarissa Dalloway.

And now I'm back to that feeling again, the one where you want to drop everything, turn off the lights, listen to the sound of the rain and the purring of the cats and get wrapped up in the life of Clarissa Dalloway as she prepares for a party.

TMX

An article dated February 1, 2006 from USA Today stated that a certain toy (TMX) will not “fuel any slugfests in the next holiday season. ‘The culture has moved beyond that, the whole hot-toy phenomenon.’”

If that is true, then why can’t you find any new Tickle Me Elmo’s, also known as TMX which stands for Tickle Me Elmo Tenth Anniversary, at the stores or online? Ebay prices are higher than $100!

I can gloat only because I got one yesterday! And he is awesome! Now if I can just hold out on giving it to DN2 before her birthday in October…..

No – I can’t wait – I’m going to give it to her tonight!

"Take Your Shoes To Work" Day

Today was "Take Your Shoes to Work" Day. Granted, I do wear shoes every day, but as previously noted, these are special shoes. So when they got to work, they felt it necessary to reach out and greet everyone they met. Following is a sampling of some of the people with whom my shoes formed a close, personal bond:






They were so well-behaved and professional, I think they'll have to come back again for another visit.

Now if I could just think of a name for them. Anyone have any suggestions?

Now this is what I like to hear

From Cnn.com today, skinny models are being banned from the catwalk in Madrid.

The regional government is trying to impose restrictions on fashion show organizers so that they do not perpetuate the fashionable heroin chic image achieved through anorexia or bulimia.

They are utilizing the body max index (BMI) to measure the models. However, what the article does not identify is what they are using as a standard. Are they only turning away models who fall below the level of healthy BMI? Are they taking ones who are in the middle? What exactly is their healthy, standard-size model?

And how about this --

"A spokeswoman for the Association of Fashion Designers of Spain, which represents those at Madrid fashion week, said the group supported restrictions and its concern was the quality of collections, not the size of models."

It's not the people we're concerned about, it's the clothes. Got it.

On Being Outted

Caveat: This is going to be a post filled with italics for proper emphasis in order to display the amount of horror and embarrassment I have felt this week. If you have an allergy to italics or find them offensive in any way, please desist from reading right now; otherwise deal with it.

I've been outted in a very public forum - and it freaked me out!

Daily I prowl the internet with a stealth that would thrill the CIA, performing vanity searches on myself and friends, searching for real estate in London (W1, of course), and popping in to meander through someone's blog knowing that because I'm sitting in my home and I can't see them, ergo they can't see me.

Oh the power of the trackback and the devilishly clever skill of the internet to leave your IP address all over the stinkin' place.

Imagine my surprise on Sunday to find out that not only had my professor found me -- she outted me on her blog!

You may recall that I mentioned my class and the fact that my professor has a blog. I conveniently provided my sparse readership with a link so that they could see my erudite professor in action. Unlike me, she pays for her bandwidth which means that she can perform more functions than I can with my free blogging service.

She could see me!

I felt as if I had been locked out of my house wearing only my underwear. In this case, I would probably be wearing my new red shoes, but eek, me in my underwear?!?! - even I avert my eyes.

Now, after my initial shock (which I'm just now getting over), I began to think, hmm... (that's me thinking) - this may improve my readership. This was immediately followed by the fear that my blog entries are horribly inane (they are). Nevertheless, I went back and read every single blog entry to see how badly I have potentially embarrassed myself. I then checked every link not once but twice - just in case (doing the Santa thing here).

I can take some comfort in the words of my professor who told me, "Hey, you didn't insult me so it's okay!"

I can live with that. But please remember, if you provide a link to another site someone is going to know. And you won't have my awesome red shoes to wear.

My First Swap!

I'm involved with my first online anything - this one is the Knit-Tea Swap.
You sign up and agree to exchange a package with someone from anywhere. Obviously the package involves yarn, snackies and tea -- I love this idea - and thanks to Kat for sending me the info. For all my internet awareness, sometimes I just don't wander too far away from what I look at on a daily basis. This is the third such swap and as soon as I can figure out how to get the button to here from there, I'll get it posted on my sidebar.
I'm so excited!

Today is the first day of the rest of my life...

...and I'm going to be wearing new red shoes.



These shoes are my birthday present to myself.

Happy Birthday to me - and Welcome Home to my beautiful and impractical new red shoes.

*For the record, I found a pepper mill at Williams-Sonoma that was the exact same color as these shoes. I actually considering buying it, but quickly changed my mind. At $90 it cost more than my shoes! How obscene is that???

**And yes, Kat, they do have many different expressions, thanks for noticing. Right now they are practicing the "lounging on the bed" look.

The Best Card Ever

At work today I received this birthday card from a friend.

This is possibly the best card ever. I also received a drinking cup with this image as well.

If you don't get the reference to one of my favorite movies, "A Mighty Wind," then perhaps you need to head straight to the movie rental store and find this movie. Don't watch it just once, but watch it again. And then come back and sing the "Sure-Flo" song with me.

Thanks Susie Q!

There's an amazing moon tonight...

...and on my street, an equally amazing streetlight.
What's your moon look like?

And we're off to the rodeo

Does anyone remember that song? We used to sing it in high school because we felt cool singing a song that contained just about every curse word possible. Well I'm not in high school anymore. I am, however, back in college.

Just call me a glutton for punishment.

I love this thing called learning. My children, however, said, "Mom, what are you doing??? You stress so badly when you have to write papers."

I think I have a better handle on it this time around.

(I'll pause for a moment while you all laugh at me in unison.)

But seriously, what good does it do me to live within 2 blocks of a college and not utilize their services?

So I'm back in the saddle, but this time there is an appreciable difference: I am actually in a classroom (I finished my other master's utilizing an online program). And the other difference?

I am the oldest member of the class. And this includes the professor.

Yikes!

This doesn't necessarily guarantee me anything other than being literally old enough to be the mother of every single student in that classroom. Does this make them like/respect me more? I doubt it. Does it make the professor like/respect my opinion more? Who knows. Perhaps she is happy having someone older than her in the class.

Suffice it to say it will be an interesting 12 weeks. And if you're interested in seeing if my professor has anything good/bad to say, you can check out her blog. I do, and I know that when she discusses her "Intro to Grad Studies class", well, that's me.

And for the record, it's called "The Rodeo Song".

If life were an Aesop's fable, I'd be the ant

Where oh where has the summer gone?
You won't find it here. I've just taken these pictures this week, but truth be told, the leaves have been falling since the middle of August. Kind of scary, isn't it?
And I'm sure my absence from the blogosphere was met with a resounding silence, but I am back. The reason for my lack of posting, other than pure laziness and lack of wanting to sit in front of a computer after sitting in front of one all day at work, has been because of the following: I have been keenly anticipating a nasty winter.

I am not looking forward to my winter commute to and from work, but I do know this: I have been attempting to prepare us for the pitfalls of living in a house that is a century and a half old and one which causes me no small amount of angst when we talk about my "budget" with the local gas company (the equivalent of a car payment, folks). So I have been like the ant in the Aesop's fable. I have been busy, and the following photo will show as proof of this:











Granted, I've only knitted one mitten in the Homespun (that's the peach and white one), and three mittens in the charcoal wool (love those Elann prices!), and one wrist warmer; they'll come, give me time. I did finish my afghan which grew to almost six feet! And there is a hat that has gone MIA, a skull cap made out of Noro Kuryeon that is in desperate need of a pom pom on the top (perhaps that is why I can't find it - it's scared of the pom pom!). So my reasoning for not sitting in front of a computer during my downtime can be rationalized - I have been uber productive. Can you say carpal tunnel and repetitive motion issues???

The End of the Summer

It's officially over. You thought it was over because of Labor Day - well that holiday ushers in the end of summer, but it is now over for sure because you can see from these pictures that the first day of school is today!

Life is good.

A little bit of sadness today

There's a little more sadness in the world today.
Earlier this month, I received an email from a friend at work which I thought warranted being forwarded to my friends (who I hoped would forward it on as well). My friend Kat even blogged about it.
The kindergarten teacher of a little girl with cancer was trying to find a way to celebrate the girl's birthday as well as bring some hope and joy into her life. She sent out an email and asked friends to send birthday cards and a penny to the little girl who ended up receiving over 60,000 cards and pennies from people all over the world.
Sadly, the little girl, Alyssa Bruno died today, a little girl who would have been starting first grade next month.
I know there is so much unhappiness and cruelty in the world, but there is nothing more beautiful than the hope and promise of life reflected in the face of a young child. And there is almost nothing worse than when that young life is snuffed out.
So say a little prayer and hug your kids a little tighter.

Personal DNA

Because I'm such a copycat - and because it's too darn hot to do much of anything but wilt like a hothouse flower in the sun - I'm cheating and posting something simple like...

My personal DNA profile!!

Benevolent Artist

Go here to read my full report.

Get yours here.

Yet another Meme for Youyou

I have a lot to say.
Obviously this is not the occasion for me to share it.
But here's a Meme anyway...

1. FIRST NAME no, it’s last name first
2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No
3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? This morning while I was listening to Jim Dale tell the tale of Harry Potter and the other Hogwarts kids who are mourning the death of Dumbledore – sad stuff that…
4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? When I take my time, I think it’s neat – when I’m rushed it’s a big old mess
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCHMEAT? Virginia Ham
6. KIDS? Yes
7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Probably not – I’m too moody – funny, but moody
8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? Sometimes
9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? I think it’s lost me jobs…
10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes
11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I can just stand here and sneeze and pee in my pants, I don’t need to go to all that trouble to do that…
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? As a youngster, Cap’n Crunch; as an old fart, anything with fiber
13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Who said I wear shoes???
14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? This is a dumb question – strong how? Mentally, physically, morally?
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Chocolate
16. SHOE SIZE? A lady would never tell…and is anyone planning on buying me shoes? if not, then why do you need to know?
17. RED OR PINK? Wearing, eating or hanging on the wall?
18. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? There is just not enough time
19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? this question should be – what do you miss most – as in missed opportunities…silly question
20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? naw, just post it on your blog and let me know it’s there!
21. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES YOU ARE WEARING? Black, and black
22. LAST THING YOU ATE? A chocolate chip cookie
23. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the voices in my head – and people talking by my desk
24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Midnight Blue
25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL? Boucheron perfume, fresh flowers, strawberries, fried foods
26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? someone boring from work…hold on, I’ll make a phone call and see if I can put someone more interesting on here…
27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? perhaps that they are attracted to me? flattery, my dears, flattery
28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Absolutely! (she’s my Mali connection!)
29. FAVORITE DRINK? sparkling mineral water with lemon, diet Coke with lemon (notice a theme?), good champagne
30. FAVORITE SPORT? unfortunately the only sport I’ve been playing is walking up the stairs – but I love to watch soccer
31. HAIR COLOR? Brown
32. EYE COLOR? They keep changing, but I was born with brown ones
33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No
34. SCARY MOVIES OR ONE WITH HAPPY ENDINGS? This implies that scary movies can’t have happy endings – yet again here is another question that is just not clear
36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? I’m almost embarrassed to say this – The Country Bears – but honestly, I had every intention of watching Bergman’s ‘Wild Strawberries’!!!
37. WHAT COLOR SHIRT? what color shirt what? am I wearing now? or is it what I prefer? odd questions
38. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter, but with handknit goodies to wear in my cold, cold house – and really, there are four seasons, why can’t they ask which season I prefer?
39. HUGS OR KISSES? probably hugs
40. FAVORITE DESSERT? I have to limit it to only one???
41. PERSON MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? no one, but I would like to see your answers
42. PERSON LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? hmmm…you tell me, or don’t…
43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? The Woman in White, Wilkie Collins, The First Man, Albert Camus, The Magus, John Fowles, and toilet reading is Knit Lit 3 – oh, that sounds gross – okay, scratch the “toilet reading” part, just pretend I didn’t say that at all
44. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? my mouse – hey, is this a trick question? I do know who is buried in Grant’s Tomb…
45. WHAT DID YOU WATCH LAST NIGHT ON TV? before "The Country Bears" – the World Cup (have I redeemed myself at all here?)
46. FAVORITE SOUNDS? violins or the rustle of turning pages – but mostly baby laughter
47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? both
48. THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I have to mapquest this…Tokyo appears to be the farthest
49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? that depends on who you ask
50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? …and why am I here....and what happened to question number 35???

Okay, and for the record, this should have posted on Monday - today is Wednesday. Sometimes computers just don't work the way you want them to. And no, it is not "operator error".
Yes, still have lots to blog, but no time this week. That's why I'm hoping to appease my huge reading public with a meme so they can have plenty to laugh at me about until I can find time in my busy, busy life to blog appropriately!

Allez les bleus!

Moments before kick off --- let's go France!

Be Britney

Last night I arrived at DN2’s soccer game as just as the third quarter was ending. The following is our conversation:

DN2: Why are you so late, Mommy?
Me: I didn’t get off of work until almost 6:00, and then I had to take the dog out.
DN2: Well why didn’t you bring the dog with you?
Me: Because I can’t drive and hold onto the dog.
DN2: Be Britney.
Me: What?
DN2: You know, be like Britney Spears.

I’m still laughing.

Happy Birthday, Franz

Today is Franz Kafka's birthday. Happy Birthday, Franz! Love your work!

Lost in a Good Book

Today is the day I am awarded, or have conferred upon me, my Master of Arts in Humanities! I have to tell you, it has been a long, hard two years, but I actually persevered and completed it.

Now remember, I do work in a hospital where people have “working degrees and certifications” – ones that they actually use (MD, CNA, CRNA, CRNA, CNOR, MBA, SPHR, etc.). Yesterday I was asked what this degree "means" and I answered, “It means I am very well read.”

And all those years of reading, with pen or pencil in hand, make one a bit incapable of reading for pleasure. Every book must be critiqued, salient passages underlined, symbolism explored, etc., etc., etc. What I have to do now is figure out which books I can now read for pleasure after all these years of reading for classes. I have a short list to which I retain the ability to expand or decrease at my leisure:

· The Magus, John Fowles (currently reading!!!)
· Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
· As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner
· The Woman in White, Wilkie Collins
· Appointment in Samarra, John O’Hara
· The Man Who Deciphered Linear B: The Story of Michael Ventris, Andrew Robinson
· At Swim-Two-Birds, Flann O’Brien
· Ulysses, James Joyce
· The Consolation of Philosophy, Ancius Boethius
· The Decameron, Giovanni Boccaccio
· Remembrance of Things Past, Volumes 1-3, Marcel Proust
· Clara: A Novel, Janice Galloway
· Ragtime, E.L. Doctorow (to reread – it’s been years)
· The Journals: Volume I: 1949-1965, John Fowles and Charles Drazin
· Justine, Lawrence Durrell
· The Waves, Virginia Woolf

Let me know if you think there are any books I’m missing that perhaps I should add – that would be greatly appreciated! I do not have an anticipated completion date, nor do I expect to read these books in any particular order, but I do expect to spend some leisure time lost in a good book!

A Gift from a Flower to a Garden

Sunday was spent participating in an activity that I would not normally think of doing. As a matter of fact, my ignorance on this subject is so profound, that I’m embarrassed to even participate in events like this because other than uttering inane comments, I have no knowledge of the subject!

Regardless, DN2 and I, along with my mother, my aunt and my cousin, went on the Garden Club tour. It was an eye opener. There were some lovely gardens, and unfortunately I realized, again, how little knowledge I have of gardening. But you know, sometimes it really doesn’t matter, because the flowers were fantastic. And for being only 7, DN2 had a very good time (no complaints!). We of course came home after the reception following the tour loaded down with plants, to include a recovering Boston Fern which someone failed to water for two weeks. Well I got it for 50 cents – you probably think I paid too much, but my house really needs a fern, so I suppose I’ll take one that is half alive for four bits and save spending $15 or more on a healthy one because I know I can nurse this one back to life.

We also came home with some lemon balm, mint, some plants that begin with an E (I'm such a master gardener) and a Rose of Sharon (for free), which I promptly named my Grapes of Wrath plant (I love that book – it makes me sad, but I love it). To illustrate how ignorant I am about gardening, I made the classic mistake of calling it a rose bush; well it’s not, it’s actually a hibiscus, and more of a shrub. And because DN2 was the youngest person there (by about 40 years or so) she came home with about five free plants and a dollar.

It was interesting – I’ll probably end up going again next year, because it’s nice to see how creative people can be and to get a glimpse into their homes – well at least their backyards!
Once the weekend comes, DN2 and I will be outside getting our plants into the ground. Because I have to tell you, some of my plants are actually coming along quite well! (And I’ll post pictures when I get home.)

At least we’re not suffering from this kind of weather.

But still work leaves me too busy for knitting; perhaps this weekend, after the planting is done (and the cows are milked, and the eggs are gathered, and the pigs are fed - yeah, I'm a regular Ma Kettle -- hee hee).

P.S. Sorry, no pics yet -- two days without rain hasn't done any good for my plants. Well, without rain and without be watering them - because I kept expecting rain.
P.P.S. But I will share this funny story. I was just out watering my plants (because Mother Nature let me down) and I took down the spider plant I have hanging in the front. Well as I pulled it off the hook, something came flying out at me! At first I thought it was a bat, but then I looked and saw it was a bird. I then put the plant down and looked inside and what do you think I saw? Three eggs -- that bird is nesting in my plant! I didn't touch them - and I hope she doesn't feel threatened so she'll come back to her babies! Amazing.

My Secret Shame

As one born at the end of the Baby Boomer-era, I grew up in a time when women everywhere espoused Betty Freidan’s The Feminine Mystique, Ms Magazine, and the ERA. For those young readers, I’m not talking about the laundry detergent – I mean the Equal Rights Amendment. We saw Title IX implemented even before we really understood the inequality of the situation. We were surrounded by strong, independent, non-bra wearing women who were strong-minded and sassy. We even had Burt Reynolds as a centerfold in "Cosmopolitan"!

Not that I had a subscription to Cosmo – heaven forbid – I was reading "Teen" or "Seventeen" (remember how huge the magazines used to be?) and "Young Miss". There were, however, some books that were de rigueur. We read Nancy Drew, I collected all of her books – and still have them; there were some girls who preferred The Hardy Boys, but I wasn’t one of them. We adored Louisa May Alcott and devoured Little Women again and again. We embraced these female protagonists, even those who weren’t quite so modern, like Jo, but also looked to our contemporary protagonists and envisioned them as being our own personal role models. I also loved Trixie Belden and Meg – both stories with young girls who were friends with boys and other girls – and they solved mysteries – just like the Hardy Boys! We were told about the other strong heroines in literature; unfortunately I never got around to reading them.

I used to have this idea that I would join the Jane Austen Society in Fredericksburg and attend her birthday celebration and annual meetings. I bought the Jane Austen mystery series in order to read them and gain insight into what some thought might be in Jane’s head. I still have them, but I haven’t read them. I’ve seen the BBC versions of her books, I’ve watched Colin Firth light up the screen in the A&E version (who doesn’t love Colin Firth), and I’ve seen Gwyneth Paltrow do justice to "Emma". I even watched the latest version that my friend has seen so many times that she’s been able to get her money’s worth out of the rental cost. Even still, I never read Jane Austen.

Then, at the ripe old age of…well older than an adolescent, I finally read Pride and Prejudice for the first time. You know what? I didn’t like it. I read it again (both times for classes). I still didn’t like it, and it has nothing to do with it being assigned reading. I just plain can't see what all the fuss is about. What is unfortunate is this: Do you think that I can ever be open and honest with people about this fact? No. Because women are rabid about Jane Austen. It is almost as if we must cherish her because she is a strong, seemingly independent-minded female from the Regency period.

Sorry, I just can’t do it. I just can’t read Jane Austen. I want to – oh how I want to fit in with my “sisters” and cherish this author as others do. But I can’t. I just can’t. Her heroines are all the same; it is as if Jane Austen said to herself whilst writing these books, "Oh how I wish that I could escape from this humdrum spinsterly life; alas, I can't, so I will create a world in which I will be the heroine of every book I write!" And then no book is really very different, because Jane is the lead in each book! Talk about a cookie cutter heroine! (And a lot of exclamation points!!!)

Alas, I wonder if I will ever have the courage to ever admit this deep dark secret to anyone. Not likely, and that, my friends, is the shame with which I have to live the rest of my life. And I don't feel better for having admitted it.

Ain’t Wasting Time No More

On this day, 25 years ago, I graduated from high school.
Now there’s a statement that will stop you dead in your tracks and make you wonder where the time has gone.
What lends to my already surrealistic existence is the fact that I am back in my hometown 23 years after leaving and vowing never to return.
Yet here I am.
And even though I know I am not the same person who left for another life altering experience in 1983, I still feel as if I am a teenager.
Will this feeling that I am still 15 ever leave me?
I ran into a high school friend in the grocery store the other day, and for the first time since I’ve been back someone has actually recognized me.
This is a strange occurrence because even though I see people I recognize, I continue to believe that they will not recognize me.
I do look very different from when I left for South Carolina all those years ago.
It must be my nose job. (Yeah, that’s it.)
So I avoid everyone.
Well, I think they’re not recognizing me but I do realize that people are not as stupid as I make them out to be.
I’m anti-social and I can’t help it.
(Should we start a support group? We can meet in Ted Kaczynski’s cell.)
Anyway, this was the second time this weekend I was (forced into) talking to someone I knew from the past, so it added to my strange state of mind.
Let me add that the second person I saw has not done too well for himself.
Please note that this is a blue collar rural town in an area with a high rate of unemployment (thanks to Kodak, and again, Senator Clinton, how can we fix this?).
Because of this I know that the ones who excelled in high school really and truly excelled (Christopher Farley and Jeff Van Gundy, to name just two).
Those who did not excel stayed here and maintained (or acquired serious drug habits).
Said person that I saw on Sunday has not fared too well, and because I was unprepared to be approached I acted like an anti-social idiot (I’m not really, I was glad to see him, just unprepared).
When we came home I said to DN1, who was with me in the store, “I often wonder who or what I would have been if I had stayed here.”
She looked at me and gave me an honest answer.
She said, “I think you would have been kind of white trashy.”
I instantly agreed.
(Because of course I'm not now.)
So we’re back to the same question of why I’m back here and who I think that I am, 25 years after the life-altering experience of high school graduation.
Perhaps I am under the impression that I can remake who I am and alter my future.
I’m not quite sure.
Sometimes philosophical thoughts like this should be accompanied by a cold beer (Labatt’s, if you have one, thanks).
I do know, however, that this is the second time in a week I have referenced the lyrics to an Allman Brothers song.
I think today’s title is how we should all live our lives.
Don’t waste time.
And if you can, gather up the courage to say, “Hey, it’s good to see you again.”
I leave you with a picture of who I was 25 years ago.
I’m still the same.
Well, except for the nose.
Ha!

Eat a peach, or a strawberry, or whatever is in season

The problem with weekends is that they are never long enough. And there is always so much to pack in to a weekend, that something falls away. With this being a World Cup weekend, there is also plenty of soccer to watch. So what’s a person to do with so many activities to choose from? Well, start out the weekend with a trip to the park in town to see some exotic animals. It was fun, and I’m so glad we could walk there and not have to drive and find a place to park, and all those other "logistical nightmare" activities that can suck the fun out of an event.

Saturday morning something came down off the shelf for a visit.

After tinking back a couple of rows and picking up the dropped cabled stitch, and then wondering what the hell I had been doing while I was knitting, I then tinked back to the ending of the previous pattern repeat. What a dummy. The end is in sight, fortunately, because I did some math and I got approximately 28 pattern repeats out of the first skein. Now these are 8 row pattern repeats, and I’ve completed 10 on the second skein, so only 18 more pattern repeats to complete, which is equal to 144 more rows, or 6048 more stitches. Egads, according to my 7th grade math level, that means I should complete this scarf in time for New Year’s Eve. It was nice to have it fixed. And it was my companion during the Portugal/Iran game.

Later in the afternoon we headed out the door only to find, wait, what is that I see over the railing of this bridge?

Is that a Ferris wheel? I do believe it is! And a Ferris wheel on this weekend must mean that the Spencerport carnival is taking place. If there is a place where money is to be spent, then we must be there. Some of us rode the rides.

All of us played bingo.

One of us won, he who shall remain nameless, but he used his winnings to claim, no not brand new cookie sheets, but a Scarface poster. This should go well in his room along with his Tupac picture he won. For the record, those goldfish pictured in the front of the picture didn't even make it through the night. I believe we were chosen to help them onto the Rainbow Bridge. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. And some of us played shoot out the star and came very close to winning.

I know, look at those tight groups. In a few more sessions I bet I could win – but who wants to keep playing a game at three bucks a pop where the weapon only shoots in three round bursts -- it expends those 100 alloted BB's pretty quickly. I think it would be cheaper to go to a shooting range. DN2 even played this game and did quite well. I’m so proud.

We avoided spending money on t-shirts that perpetuate incorrect grammar -- check out design # 165.

Yeah, okay. Whatever. You had better get spell check for your t-shirts or you're going to go out of business.

It was time to head home and check on the animals. Oh, you mean I didn't tell you about the dog Designated Husband (DH) got? Yes, a German Shepherd that he promptly named Nikita, ignoring all my suggestions of heroines from Greek myths. Bah. But here she is, looking quizzically at the man she knows as "Daddy".

Benno is quite musical and moves too fast on the organ pedals for my slow shutter speed.

And Simone just can't be bothered with any of us.

Speaking of plants, we bought some snapdragons at the Farmer's Market that opened on Sunday. I do love Farmer's Markets, but there is one thing I don't like -- a Farmer's Market Cheater (FMC). Most of the vendors have their own farms and they sell things that they grow there, at least that is what most of us would like to believe, and for the most part this is true. But there was a blatant FMC there on Sunday. How do I know? Well, if you have an open 50 lb bag of potatoes on the lift of your truck and then you remove potatoes from this bag and place them in little quart containers, don't you think that's cheating? And no, they were not potatoes coming from a bushel basket. It would be as if one of us bought a large bag at the grocery store and then sold them individually. They were also selling "homemade" Apple Butter and preserves, but I thought, well I recognize those labels, and of course I did, because I'd purchased these same "homemade" goodies in Maryland, because they are all made in Frederick, Maryland. An FMC, for sure. And unfortunately for all I know, the guy from whom I purchased my snapdragons probably bought them at Wal-Mart. I'd like to think he didn't, but I'll never know, will I? We did enjoy some yummy, yummy strawberries from the Market and I wish I could bottle up their fragrance and keep it in my home. What's that? Yankee Candles has already done that? Oh, okay, I'll check into that. Honestly, strawberry season is a special time, isn't it?

Like all good things our weekend had to come to an end, but I'm sure that next weekend will bring more exciting events. I know for sure some of us are going on the Garden Club tour. Who would that be, you ask? Well the one living in this house who is a crack shot. Oh yes, that would be me.

What's your name?

This idea comes from Entertainment Weekly.

Take the name of your childhood pet and pair it with the name of the street you grew up on.
This is your porn name.

I am Tinkerbell Ridge.

What's your porn name?

What is that noise coming from your room?

To anyone who has been raised in the Western NY area one thing is certain – wherever you go you will always have to identify yourself as someone who is not from NYC. Subsequently you will always battle this bias that the world has about New Yorkers and their attitudes. You won’t find those attitudes out here on the western frontier, and we certainly don’t talk the way they do in NYC – think more of a nasally twang – that’s us. We live in the forgotten part of NYS (and let’s not turn this in to some discussion about what Senator Clinton has not done for this part of the state, okay?).

Vincent Gallo, who some of you may or may not know, began his life in Buffalo before becoming a model for Calvin Klein and then an actor, a director, and the seller of his own sperm on eBay. There is one other certainty if you are from this area, and Vincent Gallo explored parts of this in his film “Buffalo 66”, and that is that 70’s music rules the airwaves and provides a back-story for all of our lives. This music is so entrenched in our culture here that the format for Rochester and Buffalo’s top radio stations is Classic Rock. I’ve discussed my love of 70’s music in a previous post, so I don’t want to go into that to a great extent, but I will reiterate that on long car trips when it is my turn to drive, we listen to what I want to listen to. This might often be Yes, or The Who, or Genesis, or even a Classic Rock Greatest Hits CD. Or it could be Tori Amos, Sarah MacLachlan, Rascal Flatts, or Toby Keith. The bottom line is that my children have been exposed to all types of music, and have even on occasion listened to 70’s music on their own (DN1 loves “A Trick of the Tail” from Genesis). They do, however, prefer their own type of music, whether it is Screamo, Hard Core, Industrial or whatever other genre they are listening to.

Now I have been reading a book entitled Time Travel in Einstein’s Universe: The Physical Possibilities of Travel Through Time by J. Richard Gott. I must qualify this and say that I am in no way a geek; this book is for the non-scientific math illiterates like me, and is written in layman’s terms with analogies comparing time travel to slicing bread. Yeah, time travel = food, I’m with you now. In this book Gott postulates that time travel is indeed probable and that we can travel to the past, because if the world is a three dimensional model, then time is the fourth dimension and we can find a way to travel in and around this fourth dimension. It’s all very scientific and much too in depth for this blog. Suffice it to say that we can travel through time, and I know this to be a fact.

When we moved here in August, three of my four children who moved with me entered into the fourth dimension and we traveled back in time, only to find that we are still in the present. Confusing? Let me explain. DN1 will upon occasion listen to what I am listening to. She’s a girl with good taste. She’s my hero. SN2 thinks that the music I listen to is crap. DN2 – well, she thinks the lead singer from My Chemical Romance is hot – and at the same time she wants the CD they advertise on TV with the song about Susie having a cow on her head. She’s 7, you know, so she’s all over the place. But a strange phenomenon occurred back in September; SN2 began asking me about certain bands, like AC/DC, Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin and the Doors, while still listening to As I Lay Dying, On Broken Wings, Further is Forever, and Thirty Seconds to Mars, amongst other bands.

Imagine my surprise when just last night I heard music coming from his room and I was able to immediately identify it. How did I know? Because back in 1977 when I was in 8th grade everyone, and I mean everyone, had “Frampton Comes Alive”. Yes, the dulcet tones of Peter Frampton were coming from across the hall. Amazing. I never thought I’d hear that coming from his room.

Now you know and I know that it is the influence of other kid’s that is directing his taste in music, and that these kids have learned about this music from their parents. I can rationalize that just as much as anyone else, but what I can’t quite puzzle out is how after having lived in different locations far away from Western NY, one returns and is immediately sucked into this 70’s music vortex. We are caught in something here and even when you move away, you’re never away from it, and then once you’re back, you’re stuck. And it has little to do with the radio stations either, it is a phenomenon perpetuated by the parents who pass it on to their children who then pass it on to their children, and the parents can’t leave it either. Perhaps I’m over thinking this too much, but it is hilarious to think that when we got in the car last night at 10:00 to drive SN2’s girlfriend home and a song came on the radio, the three of them (SN2, girlfriend and friend) shouted out trying to guess who it was. It was The Who. They didn’t get it. But they will.

Amen

Here is an excellent op-ed piece, one I wish that I had written.

Fun and Games at the Bergen Park Fest

DN1 had a PR event for her radio station this past weekend and since wherever one of us goes we all must go we all followed her to her Fest.


Now, to give you an idea about how small this town is that we went to I can tell you this – there are no traffic lights. And this is the town that is directly south of where I live, so you can imagine everyone from there is coming to my bustling megatropolis for everything, such as Wal-Mart.

We did have a good time wandering around and all the while I knit my dishcloth (or dishrag as I call it, which of course sounds so much more attractive, right?). Many comments on the dishrag/cloth from people, such as, “Oh that’s so cute, you’re walking and knitting.” I restrained myself and did not make any snarky comments about being able to avoid conversation since I was wrapped up in my knitting. I thought it, but I didn’t say it. I revel in being antisocial at times.

We did some shopping:

DN2 got a sweatshirt that she loves. Yes, the town with no traffic light is famous for its swamp.

And we bought a piece of art from this woman and – get this – we were her first sale ever! She is very creative and I hope to actually see her again at some fests over the summer.

The bouncy tent place had a disaster when their air compressor turned off. I love this picture because it looks like a truck landed on top of this area.


Disaster struck in the form of a big wind picking up the tent and blowing it forward. The tent almost hit this old man, and it was one of those occasions where you can’t help but laugh hysterically (and keep on knitting). Fortunately it missed him – barely – but it could have been worse. He could have had a heart attack! At that time we turned to focus on the entertainment.

The Dady Brothers. Man, they were hot. Hot as in talented, because it was actually kind of chilly outside. DN2 won a CD from them and I would love to see them in concert again. Fortunately they will be a block from my house in August as part of the summer concert series so I know I will go watch them perform again. Funny story with them; John Dady came over and borrowed DN1’s extension cord and he asked her for her name. She told him hers and then introduced SN2. Well since the Dady Brothers’ first names begin with “J”, and DN1 and SN2 have names that begin with “J”, he kept calling them “2Js”. Say it with me – awww…

But we couldn’t leave the Fest until I went back and took a picture of this sign in the tent.


I don’t know what cracks me up more – the syntax or the misspelling of the word "knife". But I had to have a pic! I have another photo to add - once I figure out how to download it from my phone – but it is the ubiquitous Confederate flag for sale.

Knit Happenings

This is the wrong yarn.


Although as Mickey says, there is no such thing as the "wrong" yarn. She's right.

This, however, is the correct yarn for the kitty bed. I would have liked a brighter color, like the wrong yarn is, but the LYS only had dark colors left. I don't think the kitties will mind.


And because I was upset that I screwed up and got the wrong yarn for the project, I purchased some Blue Sky Alpaca Silk for myself in order to make an Opera Scarf.


However, because it has been so unseasonably cold up here lately I began working on an afghan with Lion Brand Wool-Ease Thick and Quick three weeks ago when the temperature was in the 40s with the wind chill in the 30s. Then it became 95 degrees here - much too hot to work on an afghan - or anything else for that matter. This weekend at SN2's soccer game it covered my legs nicely and kept them warm from the cool wind. What is with this weather anyway.


It's stash yarn too, so double points to me for depleting yarn from my stash, thus negating the negative points I get for spending money on more yarn. And yes, if you linked to the pattern you will see it is for a beginner, but I don't care, because after my sock debacle that's about how I feel about my knitting skills.

I will be tenacious and keep on! The alien muses are smiling down on me.

A Prairie Home Companion

We just got back from seeing this movie and I have to tell you it was even better than I thought it could be.
If you love listening to A Prairie Home Companion on the radio, go see the movie and then come back and tell me some Dusty and Lefty jokes.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go read a Willa Cather novel about life on the prairie.

Extra Stitches 1, Me 0

So my World Cup sock has already been knocked out of the first round.
And the games haven't even started yet.
I diligently knit the second round and thought, "Hmmm, I better count these stitches."
Good thing.
I cast on 56, I now have 57.
I feel as if I've been seeded last in the tournament in a group with England, Germany, and Argentina...
I'll have to try harder this next time around.

Today is the day!

Today is the day!
World Cup begins today!
Who should we cheer for.
America?
Of course.
Will they win?
Of course not, but cheer for them anyway.
England?
Brasil?
Argentina?
France?
The hometown favorite, Germany?
So many great teams, so many great players.
DN1 is, of course, going to watch Portugal because... who is on that team???
Cristiano Ronaldo.
It should be great fun, and I've already cast on and knit the first row on my sock which shall, henceforth, be known as my World Cup sock.
Let's hope it shapes up properly.
Good watching folks!

Knitting Knews

Last week it was just too darn hot to knit. The weekend before it was so cold I started working on an afghan. But then it got hot and at that point I really wished that I knew how to knit socks. I still wish that I knew how, and at the yarn shop closest to where I work, Spirit Works Knitting and Designs, they are having a sock class. I may sign up for it. The summertime calls for something lightweight, and with all the soccer games we go to, I need something portable. And I really need to advance beyond scarves. Well, unless they’re lace scarves. I did finish my alien scarf. And by finish I mean, I’m done knitting, but the scarf is not “finished” yet. Someday. The hard part is done. I’ll post a picture here when I get home.

Now I am anxious to start on Wendy’s kitty bed for our two lovely kittens so I ordered the Noro Kureyon from Ram Wools and anxiously awaited my package. I mean honestly, who doesn’t love getting yarn in the mail? So yesterday it came! Unfortunately someone forgot to read the directions properly. The kitty bed doesn’t call for just plain old Noro Kureyon, it needs Noro Big Kureyon. Alas, I ordered the wrong yarn, but I won’t send it back, oh no. It’s too pretty. So if anyone has a great pattern that calls for three skeins of Noro Kureyon, let me know! It would definitely felt up beautifully as a new handbag for someone special (and that would be me!).

On another note, I drove in to work this morning listening to the Prairie Home Companion soundtrack and I can’t wait to see the movie this weekend! We all enjoy the radio show, and what’s unfortunate is that here in the “big city” we can only hear it once. In D.C., they played it twice; live on Saturday night and then repeated it on Sunday morning. More often than not when Saturday night rolls around here, I’m too busy to listen, which is unfortunate. Anyway, the movie is coming out and I’m anxious to see it. Meryl Streep, I’m sure, will be brilliant, as always. And if you haven’t read any of Garrison Keillor’s books, you should give them a try. He’s a pretty good writer…for a Democrat.
^_^

Now here's a good one

I received this from my friend Pony. It's a pretty funny joke - and even funnier if you think about actually going to a Wal-Mart store and doing these things:

Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has beencausing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type ofbehavior and have considered banning the entire family from shopping inany of ourstores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.Three ofour clerks are attending counseling from the trouble yourhusband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled and arelisted below.

Mr. Wally SmithPresident and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department

MEMO Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Documented Incidents

Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse/partner is shopping:

1. July 1: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leadingto the rest rooms. Security thought it was blood and called an ambulance.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department andtold other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'd bring pillows from the bedding department. Strangely enough, 15 people moved in with him.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, hebegins to cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera, used itas a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knew where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously ~ loudly humming the "Dragnet" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna-look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsedthrough, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, locked the door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" He refused to unlock the door when Security arrived.

I just love Washington Post polls

And this one is great - Britney and K-Fed - what do you think Brit should do and who are you pulling for - cast your vote here.

And even better is this statement at the bottom of the blog is this disclaimer:

Disclaimer: Just about everything else on the washingtonpost.com Web site is of more import to your life than Britney and K-Fed. If you find yourself recoiling at the topic, being asked to weigh in on it and contemplating a comment along the lines of "Who cares?", please visit our politics blog, The Fix. For those of you still here, comfort yourself with the knowledge that there is room on washingtonpost.com, and in your attention span, for "real news" and our little habit.

I love it!

Who’s the redneck here?

When I was growing up, I always felt a connection with the south, primarily because I was born in Virginia. But being raised in the north, specifically the spacious part of New York State known as the western frontier, I always considered myself a New Yorker; obviously not in the sense that someone from NYC would be considered a New Yorker, but a Yankee nonetheless. (Which reminds me of a funny joke from “Reader’s Digest”, wherein we all find out that the only true Yankees are from Vermont.)

We would have carnivals up here and there would always be a plethora of rebel flags and pictures of Confederate soldiers distributed as prizes. I remember one poster I had that was black and fuzzy with an orange border. And remember the mirrors? They always had mirrors with Confederate flags. Why all these Confederate flags? I don’t know. In retrospect, it is probably because the Carney workers wintered in the south. Regardless, New York is not alone in idolizing the Confederate flag – I worked with someone who was from Michigan and he had a flag in the window of his car. Yeah, if anyone can really puzzle out this mystery of why so many Northerners have this thing for the rebel cause, please let me know. Anyway, as much as I grew up loving The Allman Brothers, The Outlaws, Lynyrd Skynyrd (who wasn’t upset about the plane crash, I ask you), .38 Special and all the other southern rockers, I was raised a Yankee. And we thought all rednecks lived in the south.

So I joined the Marine Corps and spent some time in the south for a few months. Hey, it was humid as all get out, but it wasn’t too bad (other than not having a car). I then moved to Hawaii. It was there I had an epiphany when I realized that my Uncle Norm was actually a redneck and that many of the people who lived in Hamlin were rednecks (I also found out that touching a caterpillar and then rubbing your eyes would not cause you to go blind). Considering the fact that my area is filled with farms, it isn’t surprising to find so many men with red necks, you know? Fast forward twenty plus years and I’m back where I grew up, but now I’m working in “the city.” The people with whom I work have lived here most of their lives and I feel like a foreigner now that I’m back, especially after nine years in Virginia. To make it worse, a lot of them have grown up and lived in suburbs of “the city” and I, of course, come from a small college town in an area that is primarily rural.

Life is funny, because I have to tell you, I spent over seven years in Japan and Europe (plus my time in Hawaii) and still, I’m the one from the country. And for the record, if my use of the term redneck offends you, please feel free to substitute country hick or any other phrase that would cause one to feel backwards and awkward. For many years I believed that rednecks lived in the south, and then I realized that the people from Hamlin, Kendall and Holley (small towns close to mine) were rednecks, and now, I have to tell you, after coming back and working with these “big city” folk – I feel like now I’m the redneck. It doesn’t help that this is reinforced on a daily basis.

The point of the story is that everyday now I have to wonder, have I always been a redneck?