Je t'aime, Henri

If you haven't seen this, you need to.
It's hilarious.



Henri, the existential cat.
How sublime.

Radical Knitter

I wish that title were about me.
No, if it were all about me it would be "Mediocre Knitter", or "Works Hard but Doesn't Always Succeed Knitter".
You can rest assured, however, that the next time I cross the border I'll be sure to keep my DPs in a bag.
Check out this hilarious, but true (?), story of a Radical Knitter as reported by Stephen Colbert:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Nailed 'Em - Radical Knitting

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

H/T to Bronx Girl Knits - I saw this on her blog.

An Anniversary on the Horizon

I have a blogiversary coming up.
Can you believe it?
I can't.
It will be 2 years since my inauspicious attempts at blogging began.
I'm still screwing up the HTML code, but I'm a firm believer that it is the random crap I throw into posts that counts and not how pretty it looks.
It's the maxim on how I live my life, so I sure hope it's true.
I should buy myself a cake from Phillips European for my blogiversary, eat more than one piece, go into a sugar high, and write even more bizarre stuff.
Because trust me, I keep it toned down for my blog.
In the meantime I have successfully navigated past the heel on my second sock and am knitting the gusset as we speak. Well, it's not that successful of a navigation, but it's a go.
I'll wear my wonky socks with pride, I just won't invite people in for a closer look.
And trust me, no one wants to look closely at my feet anyway.
I'll leave you with today's wonderful Ballard Street:


Look at those smiles. They are obviously not reading Edmund Spenser.

In the Name of Bob

I thought this Ballard Street comic would make you laugh:
DN2 names everything Bob. She has 3 goldfish and they are all named Bob -- Bob, Bob Jr. and Bob III. She has a birthmark she calls Bob the Happy Slug. And then there are all the Bob jokes.
You know those - I shouldn't have to repeat them (although I will if pushed).
Boring Valentine's Day in my household - I worked until 5:00 (gasp!) and then had class at 6:00, so no special gifts.
Oh well.
And no knitting to show you - I've been spending too much time reading and falling asleep watching tv. Kind of dangerous with size 7s in your hands, but I know many of you have done that too.
Raise your hand if you have - but don't poke yourself in the eye with your needle while doing it!

Sign of the Times

DN1 works at a large sporting goods store in the shoe department.
She arrived at work on Sunday to find this handwritten sign posted as a stern reminder for the employees:

Helping out the elves

We used to have a cobbler's shop in town.
Many, many years ago.
Now the shop is closed and the elves must have moved on.
This explains why they didn't make it into my kitchen last night to clean the dishes while I slept.
Damn elves.

Young Entrepreneurs

There's this kid who hangs around town.
Lots of kids do that, but this one carries a sign.
During the college festival (where we got the goldfish and listened to Reel Big Fish perform) we saw this kid carrying a sign that said, "Will kick self in head for $1.00."
You couldn't miss him, he was flashing it to everyone.
According to SN2 he made about $85 during the college festival.
A fool and his money and all that, right?
So tonight as we're exiting the theatre via a side door (coming out of POTC 3 which is looooong, good, but overly long), we come upon a group of kids.
As we approached them we had the opportunity to see one kid kick another in the nuts.
Hard.
I'm not a guy, but it looked painful to me.
Guess who was getting kicked.
Our young entrepreneur.
It's Jackass, small town style.
And he's obviously intent on making a fortune.

Nancy Drew had better get on the case

Almost all of my underwear are missing.
I just can't figure out where they could have gone.
Should I be watching the windows for Bratz dolls escaping from the attic using my panties as parachutes?

Tonight I Visited the 4th Circle of Hell

The new Super Wal-Mart opened today,
It is the devil's store, I say.
Greed is available at a low price
Their marketing strategy = patrons not so nice.
What do you think Dante would say?
He'd call for his guide Virgil to lead him away
He knows they're all hoarders and wasters and gluttons
Even though they wear their smiley face buttons.

Seen in a parking lot

Okay, the bumper sticker on the left reads, "My son is a US Marine."
The one on the right reads, "My boyfriend is a US Marine."
Well, which is he? Your son, or your boyfriend?
Please don't let him be both.

Northern Virginia Barbie Dolls

This is too funny.
And it's a joke, folks.
If you don't like it, stop reading now.

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls
for Northern Virginia areas.

Loudoun County Barbie
This princess Barbie is sold only at the Dulles Town Center or Tysons
Corner II. She comes with an assortment of Louis Vuitton Handbags, a
brand new Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a way
overpriced house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.
Workaholic Ken in High Tech/Attorney/CPA/M.D. attire sold only in
conjunction with the augmented Barbie version.

Fairfax County Barbie
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time
occupation. She's currently taking Spanish lessons to get along with her
neighbors. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Manassas Park Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes in overalls or Wal-Mart sweat suit
with racing strip and "Too Cute" embroidered on front. Accessories
include a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted
windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and
must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills)...unless
you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

McLean Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Woodbridge Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has
a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk.
Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper
sticker absolutely free.

Ashburn Barbie
This Botox Barbie comes dressed to impress in leopard print pants and
bleached blonde hair. She comes ready to party with a cosmopolitan in
her right hand and a bottle of Valium in her left. Overpriced condo sold
separately.

Dumfries Trailer Home Barbie
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
beer-gutted Ken out of Warrior Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes
low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through
halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

Dupont Circle Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need
a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Cloverdale Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

Route 1 Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy
were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of
the infant.

Thanks to Tracy for this.